Bear with me on 45 cultists who are waking up. My short cult story.
I was in a christian cult for 16 years. 1972 — 1988. (From 20 years old to 35.) We were known as “the Local Church.” I was eventually in the Church in Berkeley. Our stand was that if you’re a christian in a town, you must all be meeting together or you’re not a real christian church. Billy Graham was the father of bastards because he’s save people but not direct them to “the church.”
Some books in the bible were written to different churches. Church in Ephesus (Ephesians,) the Church in Philippi (Philippians) etc. There were “Local Churches” across the U.S., albeit small, Australia, Europe, etc. That’s what we were based on — scripture. We judged everything. Presbyterian — no good. Catholicism — hell no — that group was the whore in Revelation. Mormons — cult, and on and on.
How I got in: My sister’s boyfriend was picked up hitchhiking in ‘72. The driver took him to a gospel dinner at the Church in S.F. He enjoyed it, brought my younger sister, who then brought me. They left but I stuck around for 15 more years. I wanted a walk with God. I wanted to experience unconditional love. I wanted to feel I was okay and had value. I needed others to care about me. (My mother was a narcissist and I was never good enough.) When I woke up to their lack of humanity, it still took two and a half years to leave. Fear of leaving “God’s move on earth” would have had me or mine dying, or getting sick according to the teachings.
We were told, “if you are in your spirit, you are one with God. If you are not in your spirit, you are in your flesh and one with Satan.” How does one know they are in their spirit or not? That was how they controlled us. Tithe. Come to all the meetings. Say “Praise the Lord,” “Hallelujah,” “Amen,” and “Oh, Lord Jesus” when appropriate and expected. I followed all the rules and regulations. I was a good sister.
I married my husband in the group. I married him because he asked the Elders and they approved, I said yes because I didn’t know if they’d let me marry anyone else. We went out once to dinner and were married within a month. I lucked out and got a good one. He had one foot in the church and one in the real world. He was, thankfully, normal and loved me.
I had two children while still a member. It was after the birth of my two children when the “church” showed me who they were. I was sick after both pregnancies. Very sick. Not one member offered to make a meal. Not one member called to see how we were but called to read verses or pray (“pray read” or “eat the word” as we called it.) They called to ask me when I was coming to a meeting.
I was made to feel that I was “out of God’s flow” by not going to all the meetings. We’re talking Tuesday prayer meeting. Friday ministry, or young people’s meeting. Saturday morning: cleaning the meeting hall. Saturday night gospel dinners. Sunday morning for more ministry and Sunday night for the Lord’s Table. When we finally left we were shunned. I sunk into a deep depression that lasted for years. From group mentality, to self? Who the hell was I and what was I doing with this guy and two kids? Counseling for many, many years.
A year and a half after we left is when the truth came out. Witness Lee, who was the leader of the Local Churches (maybe 350,000 to 500,000 members world-wide) came to Anaheim, from Taiwan and before that, China. He knew how to preach the gospel and that was his job. He had eight children. In 1980 his eldest son had been caught in the Anaheim meeting hall having sex on a desk with a married female member. Witness Lee told the elders to pray for his son. That’s it. In 1990, that same son attempted to sexually molest a female member on a plane returning from Taiwan. She reported it to the elders.
She was also the bookkeeper. She had taken copies of all the books because she knew things were not correct. All the tithing going into “the ministry” wasn’t. It was exposed that when Witness Lee died, each of his eight children would get $2 million each. Think Anaheim. Think Disneyland. Think property values to all the homes that were purchased, to let members rent, and live close to the main meeting hall.
After the exposure, Witness Lee sent his son to another locality and that was it. No accountability. Many elders left. Many members were shocked and angry. Some left with the elders or went elsewhere. Some stayed and still meet and proselytize for the “Local Church.”
I have had PTSD for the last four years and started with a new therapist two weeks after the orange one was elected. Memories and so far, again, no accountability.
It has never been our job to wake any cultists up. Impossible to do until they were impacted personally. Those that followed orange turd blossom had their reasons too. Racism? Lonely and needing community? A feeling of empowerment? Fear and anger towards “the other?” Brain washed? Propagandized? We’ve discussed all the reasons on Dkos for four years.
Some are waking up. They’re finding out that they were scammed. They were propagandized. They were used for money and to stroke an ego and give him power.
I cannot, and will not, open up to anyone still cultic. My sanity is more important. My neighbor still has his flag at half mast and his 2016 45 campaign signs on his fence. I do not talk to him. If he woke up and came to my door to discuss, maybe.
When do we forgive? When do we open up ourselves to talk to the awakening cultists? When will understanding and compassion for them kick in? Our country was almost destroyed and there are still battles to come. Do we make fun of them? Pity them? Be angry with them? Will they come to our way of thinking in the future and fight for our country and what we know it can be, or buy into another cultic figure?
Discussion?