Thank you for coming to see… ME! [crowd cheers]
For too long the losers in Washington have focused on “others” — But now… now we have to think more about ourselves… less about “them”... y’know who I mean — people who are not us — people who aren’t ME [crowd cheers]
for too long we put "politically correct" before “practical” [crowd boos]
we put “principle” before “partisan” [crowd boos]
we put “public” before “personal” [crowd boos]
no more!
clearly the [airquote] "Alphabetical Order" ... is part of a liberal socialist agenda... [crowd hisses] and that must change! [crowd cheers]
we will change the order! [crowd yea's]
we will arrange it so good hardworking letters, the backbone of words, we move them to the FRONT! [crowd cheers]
we will make "The Alphabet" great again! [crowd explodes]
The current arrangement, the current order benefits elite vowels... [crowd hiss] the elites, the establishment, they start with "A" right?... they make A sound great, make it first, but not you, you never got "A's"… right?.. amIright! [crowd roars - boo A's]
So we're gonna start with "I" -- "I" will come first! [crowd cheers]
and "U" we can move that forward some, right?... don’t you deserve it! [crowd roars approval]
Only I can make the extreme changes — no one else would promise this… hell, no one else would BELIEVE this! [crowd cheers]
I promise the extreme changes… the changes that make things the same… The way things were as they should’ve been — AGAIN! [crowd roars]
we don’t need "C" when we have "K" and "S"... we'll have lots of "K's" [crowd chants K-K-K] and lots of "S's" [cheers SS SS]... just sayin'
and "D" it's just dumb and democrat [crowd hisses 'SS' 'SS'] -- so send it to the back of the line [crowd cheers]
also "L" it's for librul losers [crowd laughs] -- to the end of the line [crowd chants 'end of line' 'end of line']
and those weird foreign letters, "Q" "X" "Z" they just leech on our great alphabet...
do we need "queer x-ray zebras" no! [crowd roars "NO"] We don't need that political correct language, I say get rid of 'em [crowd chants 'deport 'em!']
trust me -- with "I" first and no useless letters, my new order is gonna be so great you'll be speechless... really you just won't be able to speak -- I guarantee it!
[crowd roars "TRUMP ALL TRUMP ALLE TRUMP ALLES"]