If Teabaggers and their GOP enablers are SERIOUS about their race to make America into a libertarian paradise like Somalia, they need to privatize local Fire and Police protection.
Why should a few cents (or dollars) of the money we pay in taxes go to the collective well-being?
Because it sounds like Communism!!!
So it should only cost about $100/year for each household to enjoy fire protection and maybe $250/year for the police protection. You can get a special decal for your mailbox (to show you have protection), a laminated card and everything!!!
Don't leave home without it
For convenience, there could be different levels, or "classes" of service, if you prefer. For police protection, the basic level (Bronze) would send a single car within a few hours, the Silver level might send two cars and/or a K-9 unit within 90 minutes and so on. Of course, for the discriminating citizen at the highest level, Titanium Platnum would provide the entire SWAT force and no less than two helicopters at their location within minutes, with a personal sit-down with the Chief of Police afterwards.
When it comes to fire protection, there could be similar levels, with the lower levels having minimal, tardy response, and the highest levels ensuring the maximum equipment at the quickest response is brought to bear on your garbage can fire.
Of course, if you fail to keep up payments or forego protection fees and later your house burns down, that's your own damn fault. If you "can't afford it" then you shouldn't own a home or live here. I don't care if that is the American Dream.
Remember, freedom isn't free and even though taxes are fees we pay to live in a civilized society, it is better to forgo the fees and pay more as individuals to ensure that brown people don't buy lobster and steak daily on their free handout money that they get for being lazy.
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Note: I don't really believe we should follow Grover Norquist off the cliff and down to hell.