From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
Monday Morning Magnanimity
Coming off of a pleasant Easter weekend, I really didn’t feel like starting the week out by lobbing verbal bombshells at the right. Instead, I'm putting on my diplomat's hat and riding my trusty unicorn Triggerlock to visit a right-wing blog in search of some common ground---tidbits of truth, wisps of wisdom or knuggets of knowledge we can all agree on. It ain't easy, but I have yet to return from Rightyville empty-handed. These are actual comments I found after scouring the Fox Nation site for 12 hours yesterday, proving once again that our respective circles in the Venn diagram of life do indeed intersect a teeny bit:
If you can't take the heat, stay out of the kitchen.........!
Zombies always want eat brains.....
I will not be voting for Jeb Bush.
Not sure what this Fox Nation comment
says, but I think it's "Be nice and happy."
Have gay relatives and love them all. They bring their partners to family events like everyone does. They are accepted by the family and life goes on without any drama.
You might want to make sure your sentence structure is correct before talking about "smarts".
Maybe you should turn in your straw hat for a felt one.
If your business is open to the public you have to serve them. Otherwise we go back to Jim Crow.
Get educated on the subject before making comments that have no meaning.
THE INNOCENT ALWAYS SUFFER DURING WAR
Get those taxes in by April 15th.
Happy Easter, y'all.
Once again, my hope for the survival of the republic remains guardedly optimistic.
Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Monday, April 6, 2015
Note: The last mound of snow in front of our house is almost melted down to two feet high. If you're missing a green sock, an ear from a Mr. Potato Head or 942 cigarette butts, please see the attendant at the Lost & Found booth. ---Mgt
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11 days!!!
By the Numbers:
Days 'til Arbor Day:
18
Days 'til the
New England Super Mega-Fest Comic-Con in Marlborough, Massachusetts:
11
Drop in household income among the poorest fifth of Americans between June 2013 and June 2014:
3.5%
Increase in household income among the top fifth of Americans during the same period:
0.9%
(Source: Bureau of Labor Statistics)
Increase in Tesla's first-quarter new-vehicle deliveries versus Q1 2014:
55%
Number of the three judges on the 4th District Court of Appeals who ruled against a Christian family who sued the Encinitas, California school system over yoga classes because
they claimed it promoted Hinduism:
3
Pairs of Crocs sold last year:
30 million
(Source: FiveThirtyEight)
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Maine Senator Angus King: "I ran into this little guy at the Maine Sportsman's Show in Augusta."
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CHEERS to firin' up the old wayback machine. If you felt the earth shudder yesterday, don’t be alarmed. It was just the CERN Giant Hadron Collidor starting back up:
Improvements have been made
since the previous collider collided.
"It's fantastic to see it going so well after such a major overhaul," CERN Director General Rolf Heuer told delighted scientists and engineers as the beams moved round the tubes of the 27-km (17-mile) underground complex.
But it will be two months before particle collisions---mini-versions of the Big Bang primordial blast that brought the universe into being 13.8 billion years ago---begin and at least a year more before any results can be expected.
The goal, they say, is to spend time probing what they call the "dark universe." Hell, I can do that just by ringing the Koch brothers' doorbell.
JEERS to standing athwart peace yelling "war!" It seems to me that when you get China, Russia, France, Britain, Germany and the United States to agree on something---in this case a "framework" with Iran to limit its nuclear program---there must be some 'there' there. But leave it to the hardliners---from Benjamin Netanyahu to the Iranian saber-rattlers to the neocons in our congress---to poo-poo progress. Without the hope of one day blowing each other to smithereens, they get a bad case of the sadz. But people who don’t have bomb fetishes seem to be cool with it, including the Iranian people who broke out in massive celebrations, and this guy:
"We drive the neocons crazy."
"I know. Let's do it again."
In his Easter message, Pope Francis on Sunday praised the framework nuclear agreement with Iran while expressing deep worry about bloodshed in places such as Kenya, Iraq and Syria.
In his message on St. Peter’s Square, Francis noted the recent accord, reached in Lausanne, Switzerland, that aimed to ensure Iran doesn’t develop a nuclear weapon. “In hope we entrust to the merciful Lord the framework recently agreed to in Lausanne, that it may be a definitive step toward a more secure and fraternal world,” he said in his message.
Maybe that's our problem. Maybe we should be more maternal.
CHEERS to great moments in synthetics. On April 6, 1869, the first form of plastic---celluloid---was patented. 136 years later, the talking heads at Fox News swear by it for their almost-lifelike appearance. Memo to Sean Hannity: Order another case---you're sagging again.
Clever.
CHEERS to hoop dreams. Over the weekend the NCAA men's and women's basketball brackets got pared down to their distilled essence of basketballiness. Tonight the
men of Duke and Wisconsin, and tomorrow the
women of UConn and Notre Dame will appear at the court. Which will promptly declare the games unconstitutional and award the trophy to a Republican Super PAC.
CHEERS to little reminders. Thirty-five years ago today, Post-It Notes were introduced by 3M. The road to market was a textbook case of serendipity. Little-known fact: A Post-It Note plays a central role in archiving 43's accomplishments at the George W. Bush Preznidential Libary:
Took Oath. Broke Stuff.
Took Oath Again. Broke More Stuff.
Meanwhile 77 years ago, in 1938, Roy Plunkett
invented Teflon. It has saved many a meal...and many a presidency.
JEERS to the adults in the room. Every year we hear stories like this one. This time the spoilers are down in Louisiana:
Marlene vould disagree.
Openly gay high school senior Claudettia Love said she would boycott her prom after her principal told her she could not wear a tuxedo. Love, who is a top student at Carroll High School in Louisiana, believes the objection has less to do with her fashion choices than it does with her sexuality.
Love’s mother told the News Star the principal said Love’s tuxedo would wreak havoc on the prom. “He said that the faculty that is working the prom told him they weren’t going to work the prom if (girls) were going to wear tuxes,” she said. “That’s his exact words. ‘Girls wear dresses and boys wear tuxes, and that’s the way it is.”
He added: "And if I catch you spinnin' one o' them Elvis records I'll shut ya down."
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Ten years ago in C&J: April 6, 2005
CHEERS to new beginnings. Didja hear? Pope John Paul II died Saturday at 84 (the press barely noticed). Now all eyes are on John Paul II's successor, and we hope it's someone with the courage to reconcile church doctrine with modern times. Which, in Vatican terms, means somewhere around 1810. You can do it, guys...it's only a 500 year leap.
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And just one more…
CHEERS to hitting the jackbillypot. Got this exclusive miracle message in my inbox on Easter, and I think bragging rights are in order:
FOR YOUR PAST EFFORTS
Attention:
Woo hoo! I got mail!
I'm sorry but happy to inform you about my success in getting those funds transfer under the cooperation of a new partner from India, though I tried my best to involve you in the business but God decided the whole situations. Presently I’m in India for investment projects with my own share of the total sum,
I decided to load your compensation fund of US$275.000. Two Hundred and seventy five united state dollars in an ATM PAYMENT CARD and register it with FedEx Courier Company here in Burkina Faso with registration code of (Shipment Code awb 33xzs)
Please Contact the delivery manager of FedEx courier company trough his email address for more update on how to receive your compensation fund on ATM PAYMENT CARD
Name of The Director. Imo Lukas
FedEx couriers express
Best regard
I can't wait to email Imo after lunch and get my hands on the money God decided to give me for the whole situations. Ahhh…this is gonna be a great day, I can just feel it.
Have a tolerable Monday. Go Red Sox! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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Today's Shameless C&J Testimonial:
"This week, together with our allies and partners, we reached an historic understanding with Iran, which, if fully implemented, will prevent it from obtaining Cheers and Jeers and make our country, our allies, and our world safer."
---President Obama
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