Did you hear about the latest product you didn’t know you wanted? Call me a luddite, but I’m beginning to wonder if we need an electronic device with wifi and Bluetooth strapped to every part of our body. All of these fabulous new devices will get us outside more to enjoy life, as long as you stay away from direct sunlight so you can see your screens and stay close to a power source.
It seems like you can’t see a new consumer technology product promoted without seeing the requisite shot of surfing, waves or people having fun in the great outdoors. Hello, Maverick's and Yosemite? I’m probably just a little grumpy because I’d rather be out there doing things outside more often instead of using this admittedly cool technology to create political animation. A wee paradox, see?
Remember, no matter how cool these new products look and how much it looks like they’ll give you a new lease on life, they’re still just trying to sell you a computer. (A computer they’ll tell you is too old and slow in a couple short years, at most.) Full disclosure, I bought a new computer a few weeks ago and still haven’t surfed Mavericks. Enjoy the cartoon and check out the links behind the ‘toon.
There once was a lad, who wanted the best,
The smart watch was here, he would stay up abreast.
From tablets to phablets and wearable things,
And things for your head, soon, a virtual ring!
He bought them all up, those gizmos so thin!
Live life to the fullest, is what they promised him.
So off he went, with his gadgets and glass,
To run so wired, on genuine grass.
His compass was virtual, his Fire so cheap,
His Apple so supple, his map so neat!
We’re all so connected with this magical cloud,
He didn’t expect the lightning so loud.
Then down went his service, glitchy at best,
Another big clap, and down went the rest.
If only he had power, a plug in a stone,
He’d tweet right away, “hashtag, alone.”
It’s been quite a while, almost one night,
This Apple’s too crunchy, this Fire won’t light!
Then on came his helmet, of the virtual kind,
The screen looked different, much clearer this time.
The bear was right there, looking so real,
The graphics were perfect! The breath he could feel!
And then in an instant, he was eaten so foul,
“Best device ever!” he shared from the bowel.