The seed for a conversation found its fertile ground after a few of us read a diary that included an elegant statement of the problem.
"When I feel that I have to walk on eggshells in a diary it is a sign something is wrong. Sometimes one has to say exactly how one feels and it is also sometimes necessary for those hearing these sentiments just to listen for a while and take note." - LaFeminista
That quote from LaFeminista inspired my music-video diary,
Relax, I need some information please, which invited people to pause and notice how we all are feeling. Many came and bravely posted and voted in the poll. One of the more puzzling attitudes in the diary, and found elsewhere at Daily Kos is the many "us vs them" dichotomies. I find it especially puzzling among political allies. It may sound strange and some may think I'm clueless to say that. [And they're entitled to their judgments, based upon their own relative cluelessness. I've been aware of the arbitrariness of us vs them almost my whole life because I was lucky enough to have parents who taught me to question it].
Except for the sports world, I just don't see people in such stark binary terms. I think it's learned and reinforced in American culture. But I don't see why it should be inevitable. I just wasn't raised to see people that way, so it's puzzling why some people think it's inevitable to do that.
Perhaps we could continue the conversation and reflect on this. The music soothes and suits my pensive mood.
Pink Floyd - "Us And Them
LINK to Music Video - Pink Floyd Us and Them
Pink Floyd "Us And Them" from 1973 album "The Dark Side Of The Moon"
There's more below the fold.
Us and them
And after all we're only ordinary men
Me and you
God only knows
It's not what we would choose to do
Forward he cried from the rear
And the front rank died
And the general sat
And the lines on the map
Moved from side to side
Black and blue
And who knows which is which and who is who
Up and down
And in the end it's only round 'n round
Haven't you heard it's a battle of words
The poster bearer cried
Listen son, said the man with the gun
There's room for you inside
"I mean, they're not gonna kill ya, so if you give 'em a quick short, sharp, shock, they won't do it again. Dig it? I mean he get off lightly, 'cause I would've given him a thrashing - I only hit him once! It was only a difference of opinion, but really...I mean good manners don't cost nothing do they, eh?"
Down and out
It can't be helped that there's a lot of it about
With, without
And who'll deny it's what the fighting's all about?
Out of the way
It's a busy day
I've got things on my mind
For the want of the price
Of tea and a slice
The old man died
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
In Sometimes You Have to Stop Reading the Comments, LaFeminista was talking about the misogyny on display in online newspapers' comment threads, but some have stayed out of comment threads here at Daily Kos because what they read there has alarmed them or made them feel every uncomfortable. Some people felt shut out of the conversation entirely as they lurked, and then left. Some people seemed to shout past each other, while others seemed to uprate insults posted by their friends while hide-rating "the other side". Rebuttal diaries lead to meta diaries lead to meta meta diaries. And, like a real world barroom brawl, otherwise rational people joined in throwing punches and swinging chairs.
No one wins in a barroom brawl. Everyone gets hurt.
And afterward there is nowhere to go for a beer.
~ ~ ~ ~ ~
If you feel disappointed, disturbed or pissed off about what has happened at Daily Kos since the Isle Vista shooting you are not alone. A few of us are very concerned and have started brainstorming some ideas. Send a Kosmail to Walking on Eggshells, with a question, a suggestion, or your idea about where we should go from here.
We wish to canvas the active readers and lurkers, and really listen first.
Please vote in our poll and tell us about your vote when you comment. Please talk about a problem in specific terms without attacking, blaming, and/or shaming individuals or groups. Will you join me in my effort to disagree without being disagreeable?
5:32 PM PT:
Still not sure? Check out what can happen when an observer rejects the arbitrary duality two Kossacks asserted to justify their rejection of "the other"
Vernacular, Euphemisms and Triggers.
Black and white thinking is the cognitive distortion that supports Us and Them categories, which are inherently unstable categories. People are multi-dimensional, human behavior is complex, as is memory formation, as is history. For those reasons, and many others, identifying along any Us vs Them duality is somewhat arbitrary at any point in time. Since Us and Them distinctions are inherently temporary, they can not also be inevitable.