Scene: the playground of Capitol Hill Elementary. No teachers are in sight, but a crowd of reporters stands outside the fence, listening in.
Dramatis personae: Timmy GOP, Tammy Dems, NPR correspondent
GOP: Give me all your lunch money!
Dems: No way. I worked for this lunch money. I got elected, I put in the effort, I earned it. You have plenty of lunch money already and I'm not trying to take yours away. If you want more lunch money, you'll have to do the work to get it.
GOP: Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme! Gimme!
Dems: No.
GOP: (Sulks awhile, then:) Okay, let’s compromise. Give me half your lunch money. It’s hard on me, but I’m giving up half, and you’re giving up half.
Dems: You’re crazy! Go away!
GOP: Aha! Now who’s being unreasonable and refusing to compromise?
NPR correspondent: Today on Capitol Hill, Republicans and Democrats were unable to resolve their differences on the lunch money issue.