Let me tell you the story
Of a man named Snowden
On that tragic and fateful day.
He put secrets in his pocket,
Kissed his girl and family
Took a ride to Hong Kong Bay.
Charlie handed in his ticket
At Oahu Station
And he changed for Moscow Town
When he got there the KGB told him,
"Nyet, Hacker!"
Charlie couldn't get out of that lane.
Did he ever return,
No he never returned
And his fate is still unlearn'd
He may live forever
near the gates of Moscow
He's the man who never returned.
Now all night long
Charlie sits amongst the gates
Saying, "What will become of me?'
Crying
'How can I email
My sister in Chelsea
Without the NSA reading
what the KGB wants them to see?'
Charlie's girl goes down
To NSA HQ
Every day at quarter past two
And through the open window
She hands the NSA a PGP key
As the agents comes rumblin' through.
Now you citizens of Russia,
Don't you think it's a scandal
That the people have to pay and pay?
We keep Snowden fed and clothed,
We keep Snowden in our airport,
Just to fight with the USA!
Let him fly to Venezuela
Let him fly to Bolivia
Just get poor Snowden out of Moscow today!
Chorus:
He'll never return,
No he'll never return
And his fate will be unlearned
He may live forever
near the gates of Moscow
He's the man who never returned.
He's the man who never returned.
He's the man who never returned.
-----
Charlie on the MTA