From the GREAT STATE OF MAINE…
I feel pretty and witty and...oh, what's the word?
Pearls of wisdom as we head into the last weekend of Pride Month 2013:
"It's my personal belief---I'm speaking now as a President as opposed to as a lawyer---if you've been married in Massachusetts and move somewhere else, you're still married. Under federal law, you should be able to obtain the benefits of any lawfully married couple."
---President Obama yesterday, suggesting that the Supreme Court's DOMA decision didn't go far enough.
"Folks, I trust the gays about as far as I could throw them. Not that I would know---I don’t pick up gay men to throw or for any other reason. Come to think of it, they're in better shape than I am, so it might be easier if I let them throw me. But they're pretty strong, so I guess I should say: I trust the gays less far than they can throw me. Are we clear?"
---Stephen Colbert
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"One should no more deplore homosexuality than left-handedness."
---Towards a Quaker View of Sex, 1964
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“Our mission to build a welcoming and accepting state that can compete in the global economy requires laws that reflect our values. Today, we guarantee that our transgender relatives and neighbors can work hard, participate in our communities and live their lives with dignity and in safety.”
---Delaware Gov. Jack Markell, who signed a transgender anti-discrimination bill last week
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"My mom blames California for me being a lesbian. 'Everything was fine until you moved out there.' That's right, Mom, we have mandatory lesbianism in West Hollywood. The Gay Patrol busted me, and I was given seven business days to add a significant amount of flannel to my wardrobe."
---Writer/Director Coley Sohn
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"The compelling argument is on the side of homosexuals: 'We’re Americans. We just want to be treated like everybody else.' That’s a compelling argument. And to deny that, you've got to have a very strong argument on the other side. The argument on the other side hasn't been able to do anything but thump the Bible."
---Bill O'Reilly(!)
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"I was traveling in Tennessee and I saw a bumper sticker that I'll never forget. It said: HOMOSEXUAL: Every Good Southern Family Has One."
---Bishop V. Gene Robinson
It's been a good month. Same time next year?
Your west coast-friendly edition of Cheers and Jeers starts below the fold... [Swoosh!!] RIGHTNOW! [Gong!!]
Cheers and Jeers for Friday, June 28, 2013
Note: Great news! Yesterday's lottery was a rousing success for the community. Our thanks to the late Tessie Hutchison and the townsfolk for upholding our motto: "Lottery in June, corn be heavy soon." (And don’t skimp on the butter, ha ha ha.)
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By the Numbers:
Days 'til the California Beer Festival in Novato: 1
Days 'til the next new moon on Monday: 10
(Source: Duran Duran)
Number of people who, by August, will be living in countries or jurisdictions where same-sex marriage is legal: 585 million
Number who were living in such countries/jurisdictions last August: 289 million
(Source: Nate Silver)
Number of Texas inmates who have been executed since 1982: 500
Percent chance that when George W. Bush was governor of Texas, he mocked a death-row inmate during an interview by whining, "Please don’t kill me!": 100%
Date on which the world's last telegram company, located in India, will stop sending them: 7/13/13
(Source: Time)
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Puppy Pic of the Day: Get a grip…
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CHEERS to clearing the first hurdle. Yesterday the Senate passed---no, that's not a misprint, I said "passed"---an immigration-reform bill that includes a shitload of border-security and border-fence-construction jobs, tons of fresh government spending, and a humane (if overly-long) pathway to citizenship for undocumented immigrants. Woo hoo! The first thing I did after hearing the news, of course, was to sprint over to the Michelle Malkin blog and share in their celebration of the happy day. I could tell in the comment threads that they were elated:
I say we should make
it dubble offical!!!
What I wouldn't give to see an old vet walk in there and cane the hell out of two or three of those rats before he gets hauled off.
If you do that, you may also get splashed by their blood....YUCK.
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You know, for such short arms McCain is pretty good on the reach around.
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I can't believe any Republican could vote for this. It's political suicide.
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Oh for an F5 tornado to rip thru there.
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The Republic is toast!
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How much more proof do we need that Marxists have taken over the RINOpublican party and that we have a one party system?
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Wow! My comment got deleted! I guess tar and feathers can't be mentioned, as well as the proper punishment for treason.
Remember, teabaggers: it's not rain. It's liquid sunshine!
Now a National Historic landmark.
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CHEERS to the other American revolution. On June 28, 1969, customers at a Greenwich Village gay bar---
the Stonewall Inn---decided they'd had enough police harassment for one lifetime. So they got mad as hell, tipped over a police car, hurled some rocks and gave new life to the fledgling gay rights movement. As the deputy police inspector said: "For those of us in [the] public morals [division], things were completely changed ... Suddenly they were not submissive anymore." And here we are, a mere (ha!) 44 years later, and those aging protesters in New York have now have the the right---state
and federal, thanks to the Supremes---to take their fights where straight people have waged them for centuries: the institution of marriage.
CHEERS to premature capitulation. Maine's Worst-Governor-Ever is now openly despised almost as much by Republicans as he is by Democrats. And seeing the writing on the wall, Paul LePage may be preparing to cut and run:
After the Maine legislature overrode his veto of a state budget bill, Republican Gov. Paul LePage told reporters Wednesday that he may not seek a second term. … "Quite frankly, I don’t know how you recover from this. I really don’t know how you recover from a tax increase."
That's similar to what the rest of us here are wondering. How do we recover from Paul LePage?
James Madison
(Actual size)
CHEERS to Ol' Shortypants. James Madison, who at 5'4" holds the distinction of being the U.S. president with the lowest center of gravity (but not the lowest IQ---that honor goes to Bush, Jr.), died in Montpelier, Virginia 177 years ago today. He was the chief architect of the United States Constitution, and he's no doubt rolling in his grave over the GOP's manhandling of it. The book
Rating the Presidents (a survey of 700 historians) sums up his legacy as one of "courageous leadership as president, guided by the principles of the Constitution, which he played so large a part in framing. All Americans owe him a great debt of gratitude." Pay
your respects here. But don't call him short. Touchy subject.
JEERS to the history of "U.S." The trip to Africa by President Obama and the First Family continues. They'll be in South Africa (including a possible visit to the bedside of Nelson Mandela) over the weekend. Michelle Obama is posting an online travel journal, and here's a snip of her thoughts on the slave prison on Gorée Island, Senegal:
The 'Door of No Return'
On our tour of the island, we saw the dark, cramped cells where dozens of people were packed together for months on end, with heavy chains around their necks and arms. We saw the courtyard where they were forced to stand naked while buyers examined them, negotiated a price, and bought them as if they were nothing but property. And we saw what is known as “The Door of No Return,” a small stone doorway through which these men, women and children passed on their way to massive wooden ships that carried them across the ocean to a life of slavery in the United States and elsewhere---a brutal journey known as the “Middle Passage”.
There is no way to undo what happened here at Goree Island and no way to erase the stain of slavery from our nation’s past. But there is also no denying the course that history has taken since that time.
Thanks to the Supreme Court's gutting of the Voting Rights Act this week, there's also no denying that the course includes far too many hard-right turns.
Whoops! Sorry we
couldn't save ya, Keokuk.
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CHEERS to the Greatest Moment in World History. Atari marked its first full day as a company 41 years ago today, and for that we thank founder Nolan Bushnell. (Here's a nice tribute from last year when
they turned 40.) My first addictions on this wacky planet, besides candy cigarettes and wax lips, were Missile Command, Battlezone and Asteroids. They retain their simple elegance and pulse-quickening qualities four decades later, and to all the folks who worked on them we can only say,
"We're not worthy! We're not worthy!" Go ahead...
knock yourself out. Time spent with an Atari classic will
not be deducted from your lifespan.
Now on DVD.
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CHEERS to home vegetation. Here are a few of the morsels that might make it on your weekend viewing plate: on HBO's
Real Time, Bill Maher jabbers with climate expert Anthony Leiserowitz, actor Adrien Grenier, automotive columnist Dan Neil and a couple conservatives to give Bill a reason to pound his head on his desk. Some highly-regarded documentaries are on the new DVD release schedule, including
"NO" (actually a docu-dramary about the political campaign to bring down Chile's Augusto Pinochet),
A Place at the Table (tackling hunger in America), and the Criterion release of the 9-hour holocaust film
Shoah (wild guess: Mahmud Ahmadinejad won’t be renting it anytime soon). The baseball schedule
is here. (The Red Sox will make the blue jays blue as in blue means sad get it ha ha ha.) On
60 Minutes: Facebook COO Sheryl Sandberg on what can be done to kick the feminist movement into steamroller mode again.
Bill Moyers & Company talk about hunger in America with a director of the aforementioned doc A Place at the Table, as well as the Supreme Court decisions. And here's your Sunday morning lineup, now with C&J's EXCLUSIVE Yargle Bargle Index, with 1 being virtually no yargle bargle and 10 meaning lots of yargle bargle:
Meet the Press: Nancy Pelosi, and I hope she's ready to fire off a couple of "Who cares?" to David Gregory. Yargle Bargle Index: 0
Prop. 8 attorney Ted Olson
will be on 'Face the Nation'
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This Week: Wikileaks' Julian Assange insists that his last name is the only word in existence that rhymes with "orange." The SCOTUS marriage decisions are hashed out by Human Rights Campaign head Chad Griffin and his vanquished foe, Brian Brown of NOM. Congresswoman Donna Edwards (swoon) is on the roundtable, but so is Peggy Noonan. Also: Texas state Senator Wendy Davis and her pink filibuster sneakers! Yargle Bargle Index: 4
Face the Nation: Typical---the participants booked to have a conversation about the Supreme Court's Prop. 8 and DOMA decisions are sane, sensible Prop. 8 attorney Ted Olson…and rabid, hate-filled lying sunofabitch Tony Perkins of the Family Research Council. Airtime is way too accessible to bigots, no? Plus: Texas state Senator Wendy Davis and her pink filibuster sneakers woo hoo!!! Yargle Bargle Index: 4 (all for Perkins' flapping yap)
Fox GOP Talking Points Sunday: This weekend it's Chris Wallace's turn to babysit John McCain while Cindy goes shopping; Sen. Chuck Schumer; GOP Reps. Trey Gowdy (SC) and Mario Diaz-Balart; the roundtable includes Jennifer Rubin so it's worthless by definition. Yargle Bargle Index: 10
CNN's State of the Union: Who knows? They wait 'til forever to update their lame web site. Suffice it to say, the Yargle Bargle Index will be at or above 7. Eh...make it 8.
Oh, and if you'd like to find out what yargle bargle means, feel free to drunk-dial Antonin Scalia at three in the morning. Constantly.
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Five years ago in C&J: June 28, 2008
JEERS to unwanted conversions from solid to liquid. Looks like we won’t be able to sell ice to the Eskimos much longer:
It seems unthinkable, but for the first time in human history, ice is on course to disappear entirely from the North Pole this year. The disappearance of the Arctic sea ice, making it possible to reach the Pole sailing in a boat through open water, would be one of the most dramatic – and worrying – examples of the impact of global warming on the planet. Scientists say the ice at 90 degrees north may well have melted away by the summer.
But at least we'll finally get an answer to the age-old question: does the seat cushion in Santa's sleigh double as a flotation device?
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And just one more…
CHEERS to promises revisited. Lest we forget, at 10:07am on this date last year the Supreme Court---including John Roberts(!)---ruled that the Obamacare mandate was constitutional on "taxing authority" grounds, not Commerce Clause grounds. And that means it's time for our annual reminder that America's #1 blowhard is a little closer to being forced to make good on his blood oath:
21 months 'til "Bon
voyage, Limbaugh."
Rush Limbaugh, March 2010: "I'll just tell you this: if this passes and it's five years from now and all that stuff gets implemented---I am leaving the country. I'll go to Costa Rica."
Obamacare
is being implemented. And Limbaugh has one year and nine months to build his ark. But we're keeping a rubber raft on standby, just in case.
Have an excellent weekend! See ya next month! Floor's open...What are you cheering and jeering about today?
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