Thank you, all of you wonderful, kind-hearted Kossacks for the mojo for my beloved
cat Angel. She had to leave this earthly plane today and go on to her next
adventure. I am shredded on all levels at how fast her life and mine have changed.
I was blessed with this cat out of the blue, as a screaming stray wandering the
apartment complex looking for food. At the time I had two other former strays in my
tiny one bedroom apartment and I knew it wouldn't be easy to add a third. But....
I had to take her in. She went on to rescue me on numerous occasions herself.
Bad breakups, job hassles, life in general......she was always there, taking care of
me with a distinct nursemaid quality, no-nonsense and completely loving. I can't
imagine where I would have been without her through the years.
As I sat with her today in the vet's office, he explained to us the process that would
allow her to slip out of her terribly unwell body and move peacefully on. He is a truly
gifted humanitarian, and he spoke so kindly to Angel and to me about the gift of us
having had each other and the gift of allowing her to gently segue on. As I kissed her
and touched her and told her how much I loved her, she really seemed to understand
even from her far-away perch. I told her she could come visit me in my dreams
anytime, and if she isn't too busy with upcoming incarnations she's welcome to
hang around the house, too. I welcome her in any form.
I don't know if my own ending will be so well thought-out and peaceful. I have
shitty insurance that doesn't really do me any good. Will I be cared for with such
loving touches and respect? I don't know. I'm sure she will find me then, and lead
me out with that crooked little waddle of hers. I have been blessed with many
incredible cats in my life. But she was the main occupant of my heart from day one.
I hope I can still feel a little bit of her and see her in my dreams now and then.
I know I will never be the same for having known and loved such a gorgeous, well
rounded spirit. There really are no words left to say.