This is not the easiest diary to write. It is not a comfortable subject, nor a pleasant one. I do believe it needs to be written about. The Health exception in Abortion restriction legislation is very important, vitally important. Frequently these laws, as they are written, abolish procedures even after fetal demise, at least this is my understanding.
Now my story.
My husband and I decided we wanted another child, and I quickly became pregnant. I am personally pro-life, while being legislatively and governmentally pro-choice. This is my choice, my decision, not the state's pure and simple and every woman should be given that choice to decide where she stands on this issue and what decisions she makes. Being that we wanted this child and did not care if the child had downs syndrome ect, we forgo any genetic testing as it would not make a difference to us.
At almost 22 weeks into the pregnancy, I began to cramp and bleed. I went to the doctor and no heartbeat was detectable. I went to the hospital and had an ultrasound that confirmed that the baby or fetus whatever term you choose to identify with, was dead. I was told that the baby, my choice, had anencephaly, with only the base of the brain being present. If he had survived the pregnancy, he would have only lived a few hours after birth. I was right on the border of what my state would allow me to do regarding my miscarriage. If I had been a few more days pregnant, I would have been required to deliver the baby dead. Yes, required by law to deliver a dead child. I still shudder.
I luckily was not required to do so. I was referred to a doctor, the only one in the state who performs late term abortions, or DNXs. This doctor was kinder to me than any other I saw during this ordeal. He knew that this was painful, he knew that we were devastated. His compassion can not be overstated. Going to see him was an adventure in and of itself, we had to park in an underground garage and take a back elevator into the building.
This doctor and his kindness and compassion made having a DNX much easier. I to this day do not think I would have survived waiting to deliver a dead child. It is important to note that women while waiting for the procedure, or to deliver a dead fetus do run a risk of infection and serious health problems. This procedure saves women's lives. It saves them from serious mental health issues as well, and when a woman is in my situation, or finds out that she is going to deliver a child that will live only hours..this is very important. The loss of a pregnancy, when it is wanted is a devastating event in anyone's life. The loss of a pregnancy at 22 weeks, is even more devastating.
Last night, McCain showed his distain for the health of women. He mocked my decision and many other womens. Ten years after the fact, his mockery still caused me pain. I can not adequately express my distain, disregard and disgust for and with John McCain today.