While perusing the various diaries I happened to get stuck in a thread where, like a bystander attempting to avoid a careening automobile, I came THIS close to being clobbered with the phrase dreaded by ALL progressive liberal males.
"You are sexist."
How, you may ask, could this come to be? A liberal man, from a liberal family, whose has always considered himself to be a feminist, could actually be, a sexist in sheep's clothing?
It all began with this exchange...
DudeMan: So, dear, that is why you are wrong.
CalifGurl: That is sexist language.
DudeMan: I call everyone dear. I'm gay.
CalifGurl: So am I. Using "dear" is sexist language. And saying Pelosi has balls is sexist language.
DudeMan: Huh? I was being insulting, not sexist.
CalifGurl: No, "balls" and "dear" are sexist.
FeloneousCat: Uh, no, they are NOT inherently sexist. It depends on intent and context.
CalifGurl: "Balls" and "dear" are sexist.
Remember the "Star Trek" (Classic) where the race of robots would just keep muttering the same phrase over and over and over?
It was like that. Just not as funny.
Since then I have reconsidered that perhaps there ARE words that could be considered inherently evil and/or sexist. So I have attempted to compile a list. And where possible, a short reason as to WHY they are sexist. Apparently the Oxford English Dictionary falls far short in this area. They only deal with DENOTATION (damn them) and not CONNOTATION.
So relied on the the web, the last refuge for people who forget to take their medications. Fortunately, it didn't talk long to find HUNDREDS of sites devoted to "sexist words". Great! I'm feeling lucky today!
LIST OF EVIL WORDS LIBERALS SHOULD AVOID
Note: I'm leaving out archaic forms since I don't speak Old English. If someone wants to argue the point, please do so in Old English
balls: (Sexist Oxford) courage and bravery. Men can have balls. Women apparently can't.
dear: (Sexist Oxford) regarded with affection. Real women are not called dear. A fact that leaves me puzzled. I guess that just means guys can be called dear? Color me confused on this.
honey: (Sexist Oxford) see dear.
sweet: (Sexist Oxford) affectionate form of address. Real women can't be sweet. I guess only men are sweet. I'm starting to think I may be gay. Whatever shall I tell the wife?
mankind: (Sexist Oxford) human race. Real women are womankind. What to use? Personkind has "son" in it. Peoplekind? That is just plain weird sounding. BTW, my spellchecker is going insane with these "non-words".
man: (Sexist Oxford) a human being of either sex. Frankly I'm stumped on this one. I mean, here I sit with 1 X and 3/4 of an X (aka Y) chromosome, and I don't know what to call someone with two fully intact X chromosomes.
her: (Sexist Oxford) used to refer to a female person. Well, we can't use it because the first two letters are "he" (see woman). Crap. One web-page suggests "heshe". THAT is going to be understandable. And why should "he" go first? Don't EVEN ask about "her", Can you guess what a "birl" is (I think a "gioy" would be better).
As you can see, transforming myself from a sexist male is going to be VERY difficult (almost used the word "hard"). Especially since:
- spell checkers will have to be updated (and words struck)
- dictionaries, well, same thing
- mass re-education so folks will know what the hell I'm saying
I'm sure that I've missed probably HUNDREDS of words that will have to be changed. If you find some that you would like to add, feel free to put them in the comments.
My goal is to be totally non-sexist by the age of 50.
Now I just need to break the news to my wife...
UPDATE
Thanks for all the comments! Believe it or not, I've read every one. You've all been VERY interesting and have had valuable comments. For anyone that this has offended, my apologies. I'm sorry I'm not a better host. Take care!
UPDATE II
Just to set the record straight, this diary was not about being upset about being called sexist. Hasn't happened until this diary. Perhaps I have been lucky. Or maybe I'm better at watching my speech.
At best this diary is a small bit about how people can be overly literal. At worst it is just a bunch of words that, in the end, mean nothing.
Stephen King has detailed probably hundreds of dreadful, violent acts in his 7 million books (I believe he published another 450 today alone). Should we consider him a serial killer or monster who should be caged?
Joss Whedon has written stories that include violence towards women including a lover who has sex with the heroine and turns into a monster. Does this mean he is arguing that women turn men into monsters?
We can be too literal in our thinking sometimes; slay monsters and demons where none exist. While it may unburden your soul to do so, you may consider that the person on the other end may actually be on your side.
Alienation of people because of perceived slights cause terrible harm in relationships. This diary was written not to create a rift, but to point out how often we fail to think about what we write, myself included.
The English language is chock-full of words that change, are modified, and co-opted. These are part of how people play with it. In that regard, we all remain children, working, molding, and modifying the language - it is an infinite playground where no one goes without a toy. However, some portions of that playground are littered with glass, and if one is not careful, one can receive injuries. Some ignore the pain and trudge to safer areas. Others get mired in it and don't want to feel anything else.
Finally, if I have been a lightening rod (and the crispy, burnt smell says that I have) perhaps it will save others the pain. I've been told I have a tough skin. Personally, I think it is lack of moisturizer.
Take care and I love everyone - who couldn't? People are wonderful creatures!
Feloneous