GUS (Gave Up Smoking) is a community support diary for Kossacks in the midst of quitting smoking. Any supportive comments, suggestions or positive distractions are appreciated. If you are quitting or even just thinking of quitting, please join us! We kindly ask that politics be left outside. You can also click the GUS tag to view all diary posts, or access the GUS Library (the archived version for now).
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Hey there GUS people! It feels like ages, but it hasn't been that long, I guess. I missed, what, a week of Daily Kos (which means, basically, that I missed a week of GUS and Cheers & Jeers) while I was away? We had a bit of internet access off and on, but it was spotty and slow. And I don't know if you've ever been on a cruise ship before but it's sort of like being in a bubble, cut off from the world in some ways and immersed in a strange kind of alternate reality 24/7.
It was a work trip (a retreat) that also happened to be somewhat jam-packed with other stuff (short day trips while in port); there was something work-related every day, but a bit of free time too. It wasn't really a vacation, but it came with a lot of vacation-like experiences, from warm sun and overpriced kitsch to long lines for everything from meals to TSA pat-downs.
And there was after-hours socialization, too. I was kind of low-key in my approach; I still had to spend lots of time doing work-related stuff so I saved my drink credit for the last night, once we'd already wrapped up the work sessions. And it was interesting---I hadn't even considered how tricky navigating this type of trip might be for smokers (since cabins and most public areas on-board are smoke-free now), but I found out where they were on that last night---smoking was allowed on the upper decks above the pool and bars, and that's just where I found all of my smoker colleagues.
I hadn't had much chance to socialize with many of these folks yet, or even meet a couple of them (I was just realizing that they must have bolted outside to smoke at the first opportunity more than once during the week), so I braved the second-hand smoke and hung out for one drink up there.
Gotta say, it felt a little weird to be in the "smokers' huddle" once again after so many years. All bars, clubs, and restaurants in my home state have been smoke-free for longer than I have, so I haven't even had to deal with smoky social settings since I quit. And although the smell of smoke generally makes me cringe these days, I didn't find it as unpleasant as I'd feared (which kind of worried me, actually). When the wind was right, I probably got my share of a few puffs---not enough to get a nicotine rush, but it would have been very, very easy to bum one right then.
Didn't end up doing it, though. I even had a conversation while I was up there with a co-worker who was trying to figure out how to quit, and I talked to her about my experience, and how I had to have that "switch" flip in my head and really be done with it before it stuck. I gave her some pointers (about giving yourself permission to fail, about letting yourself be a hot mess or a bitch on wheels during your quit, about breaking the "reward" associations), but ultimately, I told her it was up to her.
She asked me whether I was craving a smoke, being around it after so long quit, or if I missed it. I said---honestly---that yeah, every so often I did, but it was almost always in a moment of stress when my brain was short-circuiting and not giving me a better coping strategy. And I told her that right then, in that moment, I could remember what it was like to relax with a smoke, but that I didn't really crave one anymore...been there, done that, y'know? I really am done with 'em. I told her I would be happy to be her long-distance quit buddy if she needed one (I will too, if she asks, when she's ready).
When I left to go back downstairs to a different (smoke-free) club, I remembered what I had liked about smoking, but also what I hadn't---especially the feeling of having to go have a smoke. I really, really, really don't miss that part. And to be able to just walk away? Freedom.
Who's your little buddy?
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