Now that Ted Cruz has officially announced he’s running for president, the seal has been broken and more will quickly follow. Oh, and besides being a presidential candidate, now Senator Cruz will be signing up for Obamacare. Nothing at all hypocritical about that, right? Cruz’s wife is taking a temporary leave from her job at Goldman Sachs so poor ol’ Ted won’t have the health insurance to which he has grown accustomed.
As a cartoonist, I really hope Senator Cruz stays in the race as long as possible. As a citizen, I hope he flames out instantly. Even though Cruz is good fun and has such crazed views he’s a made-for-satire candidate, the real story is the dark (and not-so-dark) money that will be poured into this campaign.
The various soon-to-be candidates have been trying to line up their favored billionaire funders, from Sheldon Adelson to the Koch brothers. While Ted Cruz’s extreme views (shut down the IRS, anyone?) are ridiculous, it’s the money in politics that is the real tragedy. Enjoy the cartoon and be sure to check out the links behind the ‘toon.
Called from on high came Senator Cruz,
Who had us imagine his parents with booze.
He spoke like a preacher, a political sort,
Who shuts down the government for enjoyable sport.
Rollback that Care Act, and who signed up since fall!
On second thought, I’ll sign up after all!
Imagine those bullets, like manna from heaven.
AR-fifteens? Jesus had seven!
The world is on fire, why can’t you see?
Let the fear make you tough, I don’t care if you’re three!
The candidate had us imagine some more,
It was time for religion to even the score.
Our churches, their liberty, ‘neath government boot,
Somehow healthy enough to provide voters and loot.
So imagine texting, all prayerful and slow,
And giving Ted Cruz your most holy dough.
But wait, there are more, in twos and in threes.
With God and their guns, in varying degrees.
What’s holier still for this high-striving bunch,
Is that holiest sacrament, the billionaire brunch!
And the billions in corporate, sweet-smelling dough,
So tasty when mixed with dark money below!
Imagine a stew, so delicious and rich,
voters in droves just . . . hit the off switch.