Unlike many liberals, rather than fight the system - for two years at any rate - I'm trying to get a handle on how to play ball with our new Republican Overlords (is that too harsh? I thought "Masters" sounds a wee too... BDSM'ish - though not being keen on taking or giving pain, I have to admit I'm probably not an expert on the matter).
Of course, I have to realize that after the implementation of the Obama Paradise, I have forgotten what things were like under the dark, oppressive all seeing eye of Bush ("heh, heh, we know what you did last summer... heh heh"). So forgive me if I sound a little too liberal at times.
I really am trying to get along. (More after the Orange Tampon)
Perhaps the first thing I need to accept, without the pesky "ifs, ands or buts", is that tax cuts, no matter what, are good. Even the tax cuts that prevent our schools in Texas from achieving academic excellence (we spend less per student, proudly I might add, than all but four other states). More on that in a minute.
Tax cuts are good. Government money is bad. You only take government money when your state (in this case Texas) is running a really horrible deficit. Even then you STILL say that you won't take the money. Over and over. Because it isn't your actions that are important, it is what you say. Okay. Got that.
Speaking of things that are said, did you know there really ISN'T a Texas miracle? It's true. Texas' rate of poverty is worse than the national average. But saying "Texas Miracle" sounds, well, kinda miraculous. Almost like the hand of God were involved... Oh, my... I feel... The Power® comin' over me....
(Eye's roll back. All pray)
So, back to the point of sayin' stuff. That's basically all you have to do. Over and over and over and over. It's like the "I can see Russia from my house" - Sarah Palin never said that - and she is, of course, the sexiest, to both women and men, person alive. She'd make women go "full lesbian" if it weren't for the Bible and stuff. Although... most of the passages seem to be about guys ... So, I guess technically, it really isn't wrong for women...
Nope, nope.... I've got to get it out of my head. Marriage is between one woman and a man and a woman - Genesis 4:19.
As for academic excellence, well, we don't actually have to HAVE academic excellence, we only have to SAY we have academic excellence! Then hide as much data about how our schools are doing as possible (oh, I found data, but some is either old or, worse, dead links) - kinda' like the way when people started wondering if they had a fertilizer plant that might blow up in their town the Republicans, er, sorry, OUR solution was to hide the data! Oh, yes, WE know where the plants are, but we aren't telling the public!
While we're wreaking havoc... oh, there I go again... changing how we discuss topics, we must point out that West, Texas didn't explode because of lack of regulation. It exploded because God deemed it should. Are you going to argue with God? Huh? Punk?
Speaking of God, who is better at science than God? Scientists? All they got is THEORIES! Hah... That's why it was a GOOD thing that the Louisiana governor told experts in the field that they were wrong based on his gut feeling. God made your guts.
While we're talking all Godly, we can't forget our women parts. Oh, silly me, there I go again... The GOVERNMENT'S women parts. After all, with all these laws and such, they can't be considered a PART of women's anatomy! Gracious that would be absurd! They are now under the auspices of the comptroller - which I guess means they can be taxed? I'm actually a little fuzzy on that (HAH!!!).
Because along with the New Republican Wave comes more New Speak. Up is down, white is black - and can be stopped and frisked without cause, a deficit is really not a deficit if the President is a Republican. Poor people are lazy and the rich are inherently good and deserve a extra vote for every dollar they keep offshore.
I have to confess to being confused as to what to say about our military. Are they lazy because they take food stamps even as they take a bullet for our country? Are people who get rich from war also bad? The Bible says that you can not kill anyone - that right is reserved for God. So does that mean that Rick Perry is a Bible hating bastard? Can I say bastard? I can't? Sorry.
And what about our new governor, Gov. Abbott? People with disabilities who take money from judgements are bad people. We get told that over and over. So is Gov. Abbott a bad person? Or is he a good person who took advantage of the law then helped change the law so that no one else could do the same? Is this what is known as cognitive dissonance?
And what about those Pay-Day loans that Gov Abbott helped facilitate? I mean, "neither a borrower nor lender be" actually comes from Shakespeare's Hamlet, not the Bible (seriously!!!), but there is some good advice - especially when Pay-Day loans look suspiciously like legal loan sharks.
I fear my Republicanization is going quite poorly. Perhaps if I had help from cybermen.
Maybe if I try really, really hard and do far less thinking, I can make it. Perhaps pretty myself up?
I hear too much thinking is bad for one.