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[Deficit Hawkman narrator]
After being soundly defeated in the last election as voters rejected tax cuts for the rich and attacks on popular programs,
Republicans now turn to . . .
Deficit Hawkman! Here to save the day with . . .
. . . tax cuts for the rich and attacks on popular programs.
Chair of the House Budget Committee by day, when Republicans are in trouble, Paul Ryan dons Ayn Rand's stockings and becomes . . .
Able to repel wine-and-dine-based attempts to soften his resolve!
Capable of spawning the Great Exalted "Grand Bargain," in which nothing is bargained or grand.
Able to end Medicare in a single blow!
Able to vaporize Medicaid, food stamps and health care reform!
And brave enough to beat back Wall Street reforms!
For Deficit Hawkman truly is a deficit hawk-- unless it comes to Pentagon spending and tax cuts for the rich.
But never fear! Deficit Hawkman has a secret plan that will pay for the six trillion dollar cost of tax cuts!
Thanks to his mysterious "Loopholes and Deductions Ray," enough money will magically appear!
Just look deeeep into his beautiful hypnotic cobalt blue eyes and you will come to realize his infallible budget wisdom . . .
. . . And believe that he would never knowingly target the middle class to pay for giveaways to the super-rich.
Deficit Hawkman! Here to save the day for the third time with . . . tax cuts for the rich and attacks on popular programs.