God is a comedian, playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
-Voltaire
Perhaps it’s time for us to appraise our collective sanity- the sooner, the better.
We as a nation have now traversed way, way past the boundary of logic and reason, entering a wacko Wally World where the only creed is some perverse mix of ignorance, idiocy, asinine amusements, and the continuous, happy, sucking sound of perpetual debt.
A place where guns are good, gun murders are better, where the solution to economic malaise is not investing in the economy, where you shouldn’t feel good about yourself unless you’re fat, pissed-off, male, straight, and of course white, …where internationally- it is either our way or the highway, where our commander-and-chief is a no good terrorist, illegal alien, where politicians proudly campaign based on non-truths and blatant lies, where we fight wars and nobody really gives a damn, where we are decimated by natural disasters and our ‘leaders’ don’t help, where automated, unseen, flying machines blow-up families based on a president’s command, where climate change is ignored until the next major, macro calamity, where our infrastructure looks like a pre-colonial Belgian Congo, and where the banks and governments know a hell of a lot more about you than you know about yourself… oh, and they can watch you 24/7 from the bathroom to the boardroom, from the traffic light to our disintegrating, potholed roadways.
A place of carnival smoke and mirrors: Where the warped image of our devolving, confused collective is reflected through mass media and television’s version of who we are, who we worship, and who we want to be. Once one survives the spin-scape: The catheter ads, the liposuction ads, the sue-somebody ads, the testosterone ads, the redneck beer ads, the drug ads that disclaim an urge to gamble, the fast food ads showing delicacies so close-up that you go into gag response, the diet ads that show ‘winners’ that are still heifer fat, the car ads that scream you-you-you even though all the cars really look the same, and the 24 hour news that desperately orchestrates piss-ant, pundit space-fillers, hijacking us all to a hilarious hinterland of hocus pocus ‘gone wild.’
Yea, once we wade through all the distractions that make us feel so good about ourselves- we are then entertained by a True T.V. that isn’t true, a History Channel of pawn shops, a Discovery channel of drunk moonshiners, a Travel Channel of worldwide gluttony contests, an Animal channel that specializes in parasites, and enough Law and Order SVU episodes to paint our world as the People’s Party of Pedophilia.
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As for today’s literary world, as if anyone reads anymore- we are bombarded with all of these, these fictions- all carrying the same heart-stopping, heartfelt theme:
Ex-CIA, black-ops expert Mitch Ryder is in hiding at his secret cabin in the Adirondacks after winning the battle against archrival, terrorist, assassin Mohammed Abdul. Still grieving over the explosion that blew his French lover Mista to smithereens (yea, I’m milking it), Mitch has been called back to action to prevent China’s launch of their diabolical death star.
Oh well, so much for fiction. Non-fiction? We have Bill O’Reilly writing about Lincoln. Oh my… enough said.
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Music? People my age still listening to the Eagles or Hall and Oates? Okay. Exactly what sick time warp did they get stuck in? Hell, a couple of decades in Bongville wouldn’t even begin to explain this.
Then there’s YouTube. A super radio tower emanating so many tunes that our post-modern youth can’t even put their proverbial finger on any one artist… or for that matter- genre.
Then we wonder why our kids suffer from A.D.H.D.: Go figure. I have often had a hard time differentiating someone suffering from Attention Deficit Disorder from someone considered a super successful multitasker. Maybe the reason that they can take on so many tasks at the same time is because they can’t focus on any one, fricking, solitary thing for longer than 23 seconds.
Movies? Hmm. Some dastardly, deluded, despicable, deplorable, jackass, brain-trust working for some misguided, stupid studio plans the release of our aging Italian Stallion’s new movie, ‘Bullet to the Head.’
My God. Good timing you idiots.
And although we’ve had a few worthy releases in the last several months, might I suggest the poignant, powerful Japanese film: Departures.
… Oh, and what the hell is all this conspiracy stuff about? These people sound like they’re just looking for craziness in order to justify their never-ending pissed-offness.
I have a plan:
Why don’t we corral the whole sorry ilk and tell them that there’s a conspiracy originating from a master race operating from several moon bases- a conspiracy that brainwashes people into thinking that there are conspiracies- all in order to keep them afraid. That the only way to conquer this master race is to not believe in conspiracies…
That should fix it.
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And then the mechanisms of coping with our brave new world.
As if I didn’t already have trouble digesting this metaphoric platter of rotting wings and genetically modified corn patties… before I bumbled off to Asia-
Even back then, I had already attempted to cope through the adoption of what some might see as possibly bizarre social behaviors. After all, it does become a bit difficult to think and act sanely when one actually starts perceiving our true environment… ugh, this environment.
Years past, I had adopted a succinct, all-encompassing cliché in order to simplify pretty much all interactions that came my way:
You know, a little gasoline might move things further along.
Yea, that was it. How and where I adopted such a ‘saying’ is entirely unknown; but it carried me through almost every social situation for damn near ten to fifteen years.
Think about it:
“Mike, Jeff and I are just having such a hard time right now. He works late and when we are finally together at night, we just don’t have any energy left to do anything.”
I pause; I look deep into Bridget’s eyes, and reply, “You know, a little gasoline might move things further along.”
Another pause; then Bridget finally responds, “Wow Mike, thanks. That’s powerful. I so, so get it. I know where you’re coming from. We’ll give that a shot.”
Or… You find yourself in some immaculate hotel lobby after a tax symposium. The only reason you’re there is that you got lost while looking for a new twelve step meeting, saw the pastries, and decided to stick around. You have no idea what the hell anyone is talking about, having found yourself gobbling down a Danish while standing with three geeky looking, brain-trust sort of fellas. Finally, they all shut-up and look squarely at you, like you’re supposed to add a tidbit to their tax evasion mumbo jumbo.
You pause, swallow, make strong eye contact, and respond, “You know, a little gasoline might move things further along.”
A stunned silence… and then, “You know, he really makes a strong point…” Blah, blah, blah. Blah, blah, blah…
Well, whatever the gasoline comment meant to them spurs on a super-flurry of more mumbo jumbo… I still have no earthly idea what in the blue blazes these guys are talking about. Oh well, these pastries are pretty damn good. Guess it’s about time to move on.
Yea, the gasoline thing carried me along quite well for some time. But that was then, this is now. And now that our homeland has moved a bit further towards full blown, batshit crazy- coming up with a new succinct, simple quip has been a bit more difficult. I was thinking about, “Might we look skyward;” but that sounds just a bit too ethereal for my tastes, and it might be just plain weird in some situations.
-Oh well, surely it’s way past time that I just keep my mouth shut altogether… maybe just a forever frozen, grimacing smile.
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Sanity through ‘making a difference’
You know, when I came back to America, a little over a year ago, I became active politically. I even did poll watching with a sweet pro-Romney lady that frankly- never shut up. And trust me, that was a true test of patience and discipline. Accordingly, I started posting comments on Huff Post. Boy, that died fast. It seemed that people called trolls kept blasting my superior, intellectual comments with insulting, bigoted responses. It hurt my feelings… well sorta. But it did piss me off to the point of heart murmurs.
Thinking more progressively, I switched over to Daily Kos; and there are a lot of good people on Kos- referring to themselves, maybe even me, as Kossacks. But I have found that many people on the site come off as condescending and pretentious- seemingly striving towards some sort of pseudo-intellectual proclamation of superiority. Easy to be an intellectually endowed bully sitting all hidden away at home on your computer, even easier than being a tough guy sitting in your car.
But still, this is not the norm on Kos; and they have many good posts, referred to as diaries. But… I can’t talk about this very objectively, as I’m probably seen as someone that ‘doesn’t play well with others,’ or perhaps as a ‘blooming idiot,’ or maybe just one more ‘strange, confused bloke.’
Still, while engaged on the site, I always thank people for their responses. Even those that disagree, I try to thank them for their insight, or politely tell them that I too disagree.
And perhaps many on the fringe left just really don’t get it… that if they behave as arseholes to one another in their own house, how do they behave with the fence sitters or the opposition? Maybe they forgot that you attract more flies with honey than with vinegar, and vinegar dissolves pearls.
Yea boy, you’re really going to win so many hearts and minds acting like pretentious, condescending, intellectual schmucks. No wonder the misinformed, gun toting, Bud drinking, white-is-right class just ‘don’t cotton’ to this ilk of know-it-alls. Go figure.
Hmm. Seems that this is just another ‘area’ that calls coping mechanisms into immediate action.
And I can see that all of our benevolent, reaching-out, socio-political behavior is propelling us in the right direction… that is, if hate might be our noble objective.
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Coming full circle, if you don’t think any of these things connect- think again. This writing is about an evaluation of our collective sanity in an insane environment, all taken in as we sip our magic sweet tea in the proverbial, bizarre gazebo. And ‘gazebo’ is way too positive a take on all of this.
So if you think you are absolutely, two-bricks-shy-of-a-load, wacko, blooming crazy… odds are, you’re not. Ironically, you’re probably one of the saner ones.
Before I get back to my texting, tweeting, posting, contacts, friends, followers, and worshippers and haters-
Can I ask just a few silly questions?
1 Why are our aged suffering through lost pensions, lost homes, unaffordable healthcare, and possible cuts in Social Security and Medicare- all the while, we treat corporate profits and our financial industry like gods? Ugh…. “Since he came into office, Republicans have consistently attacked President Obama for supposedly being anti-business. As ThinkProgress noted last week, the data shows that this charge is nonsense. In fact, as the financial website Motley Fool noted today, President Obama is far and away the best president for corporate profits since 1900.” -Okay… that’s nice.
2 Why do any of us deny worsening pollution and global warming when Putin is planting Russian flags in the Artic Circle, Singapore is in fear of losing shipping due to transport over the North Pole, extreme weather events are increasing, Beijing is becoming a city of unprecedented suffocation, species of… of other Earthly things are sort of disappearing at an accelerating rate, and there is an island of loose plastic larger than the state of Texas floating around the Pacific?
3 Why is our President espousing human rights issues while allowing surveillance technologies and their legal application to proliferate at a level that makes ‘1984’ look like a wonderful, open, free, and happy place to live? And why do so many credit cards have RFID chips and how does our financial industry know my son’s favorite color?
4 Why don’t we have true, socialized healthcare instead of this ‘feather in the cap’ legislation that ultimately rewards our already fat-to-the-gills Insurance and Pharma industries?
5 Why the hell are we even talking about assault weapons? How did they even come to exist in society to begin with?
6 Why do we have so many of our children serving in war zones overseas?
7 Why are goat herders in impoverished, western Pakistan being blown up by evil, fast projectiles resembling lightning strikes reigning down from Mount Olympus? (Oh, wrong religion)
8 Why aren’t we getting our money back from these ruthless, merciless, plutocratic jerks that wage our monies on everything from countries to death?
9 Why hasn’t someone done sensational, violent things to Westboro church? … You know, a self-fulfilling prophecy sort of thing: “Think we’re demons from hell? Well, we are. And yea, we’ll show you.”
10 Why are the pigeons in Paris so damn big?
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Love to all.
I’m done here.