Take a good look at that wedding certificate. It's my great grandparents'. They were married in the Episcopal Church on the 8th of November 1913 at the Church of Our Redeemer in Lexington, Massachusetts, just over 99 years ago.
Elizabeth Hilda May Benton Freeman Harris, my Great-Grandmother, ca. 1908 in Stratford-Upon-Avon, England.
99 years ago, as new immigrants to the United States, they were married in the Episcopal Church. Even though her groom was a Methodist, somehow the Rev. Fr. Arthur Blanchton, Rector of the Church of Our Redeemer, saw fit to perform the ceremony according to Anglican rites.
Let's move ahead 99 years, and nearly one month:
What do we have in common with my Nan and her husband? We all will have been married in the Episcopal Church. Except that GMB02 and I are two men.
Follow me over the fold for a bit more and an invitation...
As many of you may know, the State of Maine voted for full marriage equality on Nov. 6, 2012, nearly 99 years to the day when William Harris and Elizabeth Hilda May Benton Freeman walked into a little brown church in Lexington--within walking distance of her father's vast tree farm--and were united in Holy Matrimony. The law, which makes it possible for us to be married here, takes effect on December 29, 2012 and the religious rite that makes it possible for us to be married in the Episcopal Church was adopted last summer by the denomination's General Convention and approved by our Bishop, the Rt. Rev. Stephen T. Lane for use beginning this year in the First Sunday in Advent (which was last week).
This past Thursday, GMB02 and I sat down with the dean of our cathedral (where I am a member though I serve another parish in the diocese) to begin our journey towards our marriage which will take place at the Cathedral of St. Luke in Portland, Maine, on Saturday, June 15th at 11am.
The High Altar at St. Luke's: in the presence of this beauty, we will seal our covenant with one another and our God. Here is the Bishop's authorization and guidelines for ceremonies like the one which will solemnize our marriage.
Our Dean, the Very Rev. Benjamin Shambaugh, has personally invested a great deal of time and effort as a private citizen in bringing marriage equality (back) to Maine and a great deal of time and effort in the Episcopal Church in helping to formulate and bring to fruition a dignified and holy rite for the solemnization of the kinds of loving, caring relationships like the one my partner and I are privileged to share.
I don't know Ben very well, though I have been his parishioner for a few years now. Because I work in the Diocese, he certainly knows who I am and has seen me in the third pew from the front on the Epistle side many a Sunday. He's getting to know GMB02, because he is a Catechumen (a candidate for Holy Baptism) and will be Baptized at the Easter Vigil. This being said, we had a shocking realization when we met with him for the first of many sessions in preparation for our wedding: looking us straight in the eye, he said "I hope you realize the historic nature of what you are about to undertake.
I had to think about that for a minute. We were the first couple to request this rite at the Cathedral, and as far as we know, one of the first (if not THE first) to request this rite in the entire Diocese of Maine. Furthermore, as it stands, we will be the first couple to be joined in covenant at St. Luke's. Yes. It IS historic. And as a testament to what a wonderful priest Ben is, we moved right along to the business at hand: being treated just like any other loving couple approaching their priest with a view towards getting married. Just like that: what I once thought unthinkable in my lifetime, my partner and I and our priest were planning a wedding. Our wedding.
Enter St. Bartholomew's Church, where I am director of music and organist. This parish has offered us their space for our reception, and members are coming together to make that happen for the least possible expense. While the pomp and circumstance of the ceremony at the Cathedral will be over the top, GMB02 and I do not have much money, and our other church family is pitching in to make it truly classy and grand. My choir has volunteered to sing and that's a good thing, because they are amazingly talented and committed and I promised GMB02 that I would compose an anthem for the service as a wedding present to him. We even have a wedding coordinator who has donated her time and talent. GMB02's sister has donated wonderful stock for the "save-the-dates" and the invitations. Our printer, an independent shop here in Portland has quoted us a reasonable fee and they are psyched that they get to do the printing for a same-sex church wedding. Everyone, it would seem, got the "historic nature" of what we're embarking on before we did. Us? We're just getting married. Or, so we thought.
What GMB02 and I have is deeply special. We're in our 40's. We've both had relationships before. We've only been together 6 months. But we're it for one another. His family sees it. My family gets it. Our church families get it. Our priests get it. And we are going to make some history, like the courageous California couples before Proposition 8 like my friends Gary and Ritchie did, like the Lovings did, like all sorts of gay and lesbian couples will be doing from Maine to Washington State. For the first time in our lives, we are able to ask not only our neighbors to celebrate and support our love for one another, but our church has our backs. Pinch me. I'm getting married to the love of my life and best friend. No one can stop us.
GreenMountainBoy02 and I would like to extend an invitation to our friends at Daily Kos: if you'd like to attend this wedding, you are invited. Please let us know by KosMail or email if you really think you can attend. We'll get you in the invitation loop. Thank you all for your support of marriage equality and love.
Note: June 15th is not only GMB02's birthday (and that of his twin brother) but it is also our anniversary. But it gets better: it's also the feast day of Evelyn Underhill, Anglo-Catholic and mystic. Which fits us both in so many, many ways.
2:14 PM PT: UPDATE: Rec list? We're grateful for all the eyes and the well-wishes. In the next installment, GreenMountainBoy02 will talk about our marriage journey from his First Nations, French and Welsh perspective.