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The Romney/Ryan Administration has activated the Emergency Private Sector Alert System.

This is not a test.

This alert applies to the entire Eastern Seaboard and inland Northeast.

Due to necessary and moral cuts to the National Weather Service, we were notified of an impending hurricane after it made landfall at Trump's casino in Atlantic City.

The storm is producing rain, wind and storm surge that is in no way related to science or global warming.  These things happen.

Residents are urged to climb on their rooftops and await state funding.

Better still, await assistance from:

. . . which will be arriving soon.

You can further prepare and ride out the storm by reading Ayn Rand's Guide to Disaster Assistance and Squirrel Cuisine.

Residents of the affected areas are urged to avoid contact with other residents, lest they band together in a socialist collective.

Most importantly, do not panic.

With flourishing upper-income tax cuts, job creators will be there to assist you shortly.

Activating the Emergency Private Sector Alert System ensures that spending reduction remains uninterrupted throughout the disaster, be it flood, fire, earthquake, drought or depression.

Stay tuned to this station for updates on the wonders of an unfettered free market.

This has been a message from the Emergency Private Sector Alert System.  

This is not a test.


Originally posted to Comics on Fri Nov 02, 2012 at 06:50 AM PDT.

Also republished by Daily Kos.

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