I am a native Vermonter, living in exile in Arizona. Let's just say it has been an education. But, as luck would have it, this summer I have returned to Vermont...I have returned to the glorious state in which I was raised. I have left the evils (and heat) of Arizona behind. On the the very day I arrived, Vermont liberals showed their true worth, passing the first single-payer health care plan in the nation. So what, you might ask, is my problem with Vermont liberals?
As best as I can tell, a significant portion of them are trying to kill me!
Each time I use an on-ramp to a highway in Vermont, I find myself behind a Subaru, covered in liberal bumper stickers, entering the highway at about 25 miles per hour. Rather than contemplating "Coexistence" as the bumper stickers suggest, I am left to imagine the flaming death that will occur when a logging truck--traveling at 80 miles per hour--rear ends me. I imagine that the last thing I will see as my body is crushed between that truck and a guardrail is bumper sticker suggesting I "Visualize World Peace."
Now, I gotta be honest. When I am entering a highway behind an F-350 with truck balls, I am not concerned. They use the on-ramp for what god intended, speeding the fuck up to highway speed. But, as the fuel efficiency of the car ahead of me goes up, and the number of liberal bumper stickers on that efficient car go up, the chances of my premature death increase substantially.
In Arizona, those five other liberals with "Obama" stickers on their cars also know how to punch the gas and get some speed up before entering the highway. So clearly liberals in other states know how to hit the gas. So the problem, as I see it, is that Vermont liberals have lost their fear. They live in almost a perfect place, and the single-payer health care they will shortly receive will repair their mangled bodies and provide neck braces for the inevitable whiplash.
So please, Vermonters, be aware that people from other states share your highways--People from states that are not as progressive as Vermont, states governments that see getting run over by logging trucks as a personal choice.
So Vermont liberals, while you have much to be proud of, its time for all of you to learn where the gas pedal is and to actually use it when entering a highway...cause you are scaring the living shit out of this wayward son.
Disclaimer: I grew up in Vermont. I drive a Subaru. I have old "Dean for President" "Kerry and Edwards" and "Obama" bumper stickers on that Subaru. Nothing in this diary should be taken as a criticism of Vermonters, Subarus or bumper stickers. Its the combination that is dangerous.